Drew Walter Noyes, Pattaya’s infamous American, who claimed to be a lawyer, stepping up his attempts to whitewash his past and is now claiming 17 years in Thailand in service of the King.
He makes this claim on his Facebook site ‘BestPattayaLawyers’ which of course needless to say does not represent the best Pattaya Lawyers.
And indeed if anyone could produce a list of the best Pattaya lawyers and rate them by competence and honesty we would all be grateful.
Despite the fact that #DrewNoyes has managed to recruit an Army Colonel to speak up on his behalf in court – presumably to show that Noyes is fully behind the military government and vice versa,
I am not sure that the Palace would approve of Drew Noyes’ loyal actions over the last few years – that is since he announced in his now defunct
Pattaya Times that he had been invited to Thailand by Royal Proclamation.
Here are few of them. I have just listed 17 to commemorate his anniversary, and which no doubt he has listed to count towards his next Royal Decoration. I am sure readers can remember many more.
No. 1– This has to be of course his conviction last year and sentencing to two years in jail for extortion while claiming that he was FBI cleared. Noyes told Michel Goulet the co-owner of the Thonglor Clinic, Jomtien that he was the big boss in town he, that he needed to go through Noyes Inc. if he wanted to do business in his town. And demanded 7 million baht to stop a raid by the CSD* on his premises when illegal medical substances would be found.
No.2– (My favourite) This must be his purchase of the web-domain ‘Offical.blowjobs.info’. I have no idea why he bought this domain name along with others like ‘MeetThaiUniversityGirls’ (in his wife’s name) but his antics in court when he accused the owner of this site of alleging that his wife gave oral sex to foreigners in Pattaya have just got to be given the Hollywood treatment when I write the book. (No such accusation was made).
No.3 – Ripping off an school friend from Jefferson High School, now a weapons instructor to the US military, to the tune of US$250,000. This is what his friend gave him for two condos owned by the Thai National Housing Authority (presumably for less well-off Thais) and a share in a nightclub business. The nightclub business never took off and ‘Cupid’s’ has now become the Athena Club in Jomtien – and has still failed to open. This case was settled out of court and Noyes was forced to make an undisclosed payment. Two other people he tried to foist NHA condos onto cottoned on and he was forced to repay or face arrest. The friend later confided that Noyes was the school snitch.
No.4. Ripping off Dutchman Theo van der schaaf by pocketing the 2.5 million baht der schaaf had given him to settle on his girlfriend in a dispute over ownership of the house they lived in together.
This was again settled out of court and Noyes had to make an undisclosed payment.
Noyes had promised 'disputes settled with tact' - the ex-girlfriend called police on Noyes' team.
No.5. Announcing to the world in the Pattaya Times that the Crime Suppression Bureau was hunting down British journalist Andrew Drummond for telling lies about respectable businessmen in Thailand. It never happened of course – and now the CSD as we once knew it is no more – closed due to rampant corruption. But not before Noyes set up a site 'AskCSD' later changed to AskThailandPolice in which punters were invited to report crime to the CSD through his site!
No.6. Announcing in the Pattaya Times that the government was going to seize all property owned by foreigners in dormant company names.
But he had the answer to all their problems. Pensioner Joe McCluskey went to him for help and he was offered 200,000 baht for his 2 million baht property.
Needless to say McCluskey never sold even though Noyes told the 77-year-old he could stay in the house until, well, he, er couldn't.
No.7. Announcing that an exposé of his activities in the Morning Star in North Carolina was an April Fool’s Day joke and that he had sued and won.
In fact the report which was indeed published on April 1st 1995 which accused him of share and property fraud and sexual harassment in his office demanding oral sex from a member of staff on pain of cutting her hours, was indeed a serious report.
And he never sued. Nor was the reporter Scott Gold fired. Scott Gold is now with the LA Times.
No.8 Having another judgment ruled against him in San Jose Court, California. The court ordered Noyes to pay US$72,000. Noyes had cheated a Tom Flanagan by selling him useless shares in his New England Trading company.
The court heard that Drew Noyes posed as a medical doctor to sell him the shares. The initial judgment of US$25,000 was raised to US$72,000 in 2012.
No.9 Announcing that together with the Chief Judge of Chonburi that he was writing a book on Thailand’s libel laws – and the book would feature the libels of Andrew Drummond.
The book has never been published, nor have other promised literary works.
No.10. Ripping of a government video for the BOI - Board of Investment ‘One Stop One Start Service Centres’ to promote his Pattaya, One-Stop-Service-Centre pretending he had offices nationwide.
Visitors to his One Stop Service Center site were treated to a video featuring former Thai Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva promoting the government scheme.
But then again Drew Noyes boasts that he is an advisor to Thai government officials
No. 11. Demanding exhorbitant sums from US porn makers in Pattaya to escape court action.
Most went elsewhere and found it cheaper – and yes they still never went to court.
One such film-maker Tony Poer, left, claims Noyes demanded US$50,000 to make his troubles go away.
No. 12. Founding the Pattaya Optimists, a group dedicated to help under-aged children with founding members which included, a now convicted child sexual molester Brian Wright, three boiler room fraudsters, two of them currently targeting investors in the UK, and an internet porn king Michael Strouse.
The Pattaya Optimists folded after Drew Noyes failed to pay his dues to the parent organisation in the United States.
No. 13. Announcing to readers of the Pattaya Times that he had could fix the BP oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico with a patented invention and inventing quotes saying that his plan was being considered.
The then editor of the Pattaya Times resigned over the story quite rightly saying his reputation was being compromised. The contraption designed to clear up the spill looked like something out of Jules Verne.
Rogue staff at the Pattaya Times created their own mock-up of the Huffington Post with Drew Noyes on the front page.
No.14. Announcing the rumoured death of Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra suggesting prostate cancer as a possible cause as a splash in the Pattaya Times.
No. 15. Ripping off punters by offering them shares in the Pattaya Times, a free Pattaya Times jacket and a work permit as a journalist on the Pattaya Times for 1 million baht.
He went about printing his own press cards for foreign 'journalists' at the Pattaya Times - but not many worked there.
No. 16. Ripping off house buyers by getting them to put their property in the name of his wife – ‘Much safer than putting it in the name of your own wife’ – to protect their investment – and charging them US$5000 for the service. This led to a furious Facebook argument between Noyes and retired New York publisher Stuart Furstman who fell for Noyes' con - costing him in total US$10,000.
No.17. Falsely claiming that he has spent 17 years in the service of the King of Thailand and has completed training for skydiving and marksmanship at the hands of the Thai Army and that he was
THE Master of Ceremonies for the 80th Birthday celebrations of King Bhumiphol celebrations.
And…and….and – that just off the top of my head.
And finally British history from the Noyes view point and a reminder of Noyes claims to have come by Royal Proclamation.
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